The Counsellor, the Lawyer and the Fish

It has definitely not been one of my regrets that lawyers in India are not addressed by formal titles as Doctors are. I do not mind being called, “Sir”, "Mister" and worse.

And I am not envious of the fact that our brethren on the bench, the judiciary, are distinguishable from the laymen as they are referred to as "Judge" or “Justice”. Their names are preceded by the abbreviation "J." Nor am I upset that lawyers in many parts of the world are addressed as "Counsellor". There is not one ounce of vanity in me. Humility is still my name.

Now for the fish story;

I recently went to lunch with my colleague Tublu. Rather than go to the usual momo shop I followed his suggestion and we sprung for a recently opened fish restaurant near by the courthouse. He said lots of lawyers eat there. The place was called, "Simply Pisces”

I had my misgivings about the restaurant right off the bat. Firstly as we entered, there was a long line of patrons waiting to be seated. Secondly, the menu’s boasted luncheon specials, which were rather pricey. Worst of all, the place smelled fishy. The scent knocked you off your feet.

"Why is this place so packed?" I asked Tublu. My learned friend suggested that it must be the ambiance.

"And they don’t even have a non-smoking section here Tublu", I further complained, self being an incorrigible smoker. "Let's leave".

Tublu contemplated my suggestion as the manager, very snappily dressed, buzzed around the front of the line busily endeavoring to seat the hungry mob. I added, "And I also don't like pretentious restaurant managers who dress well in snazzy uniforms."

He came near the front of the line and in a Westernized accent he said to two colleagues of ours, "Follow me please counselors."

As Tublu mumbled to me something about having that plate of pork momo’s again today I said, "Good idea, but just a minute."

The manager returned to the queue and approached three more lawyers in front of us. One said, "Table for 3 Swapon".

Swapon replied, "Certainly Adv. Choudhury. This way Counselors."

"It's starting to get a bit late," Tublu said.

"Hold on Tublu, Swapon is coming right back, "I insisted.

As Tublu was buttoning up his coat, Swapon said to him, "Welcome back counselor."

I tapped Tublu on the shoulder and cleared my throat loudly. Tublu introduced me as his colleague and eminent litigation counsel.

Swapon greeted me with a broad smile, "Welcome Adv. Goswami. We have an excellent selection of fish today."

I replied, "I'm sure you do, Swapon. The magnificent maritime smell is simply enchanting."

I started to look forward to a good fish lunch. But there was one hitch. We were seated right next to the chain-smoking public section. On this there was no compromise. I am not paranoiac about cigarette smoke but there is of course a limit to the amount of second-hand smoke in the vicinity. The place looked great but I was in no hurry to meet The Great Whale Above personally.

Tublu summoned Swapon. He told him about our predicament.

Swapon said, apologetically, "We are full today, there is nothing we can do gentlemen."
With that I stood up making a side comment to Tublu about the menu being too pricey in any event.

Swapon then smiled and said to me, "I can perhaps set up another table for you near the kitchen entrance, counselor."

I sat down again. After all I am always ready to listen to reason. And Swapon looked very convincing and professional standing there in his rather well fitting uniform.

Tublu replied, "We won't like it in front of the kitchen. Too much waiter traffic next to the swinging doors."

"Relax Tublu, " I retorted. "It's part of the ambiance."

Swapon called out directions to the waiters, "Set up a table there immediately for the two Counselors. They have no time to loose."

My colleague was ready to leave and once again go for the momo’s when I riveted him to his seat. "Chill out, Tublu. What's this momo’s business? This place is great. Where else can you get fish and rice for Rs. 180?"

Swapon nodding his approval added, "That's correct counselor."

Tublu was adamant about not eating in the face of the swinging doors. As it was getting a bit late we reached a compromise. I agreed to remain near the chain-smoking section. So what's a bit of smoke? After all don't we eat smoked fish in fancy restaurants?

The meal was most enjoyable. And in appreciation to my colleague I sprang for the tab. It set me back a few bucks but what the heck I could afford it. After all I am a counselor.