Why did you get married?
I have asked this question more times that I know or can remember. Its usually a nice way of getting two partners fighting, which of course enlivens the general atmosphere and its also a nicer way of getting boring people in sad parties to smile awkwardly and cough or giggle and move on.
Some decide to answer the question and the best reasons I have got could be listed as follows;
“I was in love” –the most famous though funnily it is not the most repeated;
“My parents thought it was time I was settled” is quite popular,
“I was bored”, this also has its followers.
However, hats off to the best of them all – “I don’t know”, the most repeated and most quoted.
Hello folks, it is 2006 and the most popular and most often repeated answer to a question, which poses one of our life’s turning points, is that most of us do not know what or why we took such a step. One of the greatest queries of our lives, the turning rudder that will in fact decide the rest of our meaningful or meaningless lives, is answered in blankness and lack of knowledge.
Is it me or is it wrong that I should be outraged at such, today?
Spare me the sentimental drivel and the petty rationalizations of the human mind; I have heard them all and they are all drivel. We are humans, the difference between apes and us is not the fact of a spinal column being erect, but of the gray matter on top of that same spinal column which defines us.
So why do we not utilize the stuff referred to as the brain and think as to the reasons for which we should marry or did marry?
Parents and family can be quite a deterrent in this aspect of introspection. I suspect that this is mainly because they were not allowed to delve into the same query themselves before commitment and now they are out for revenge!!!
Being in love is basically a trick question of make-up and entrapment and girls know this fact,a bit too well despite people taking pains to tell them that beauty was only skin-deep. As if a man ever fell for an attractive pair of kidneys or a classic large intestine!!!
And, then the boys should also know that girls are pretty, they have style, beauty, grace and that’s what matters. If cats looked like frogs we would all realize what nasty, cruel little creatures they are.
But then, when was the last time the dogs stopped chasing cats?
Some things are just not meant to be....
In any case, it’s the 21st century, the second millennia since Jesus was six years old and most of the young people of today think that marriage is a very serious step that ought to be done properly, so they practice for it quite a lot.
That however does not answer my query; why do people get married? Or even want to do so? It cannot be that in today’s world, two people can be so idiotic as to get married only for the fun of being prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
If we are to look at Hinduism and its teachings, we find that Hinduism encouraged early marriage as a preventive against Sin, although any activity involving any part of the human anatomy between neck and knees was more or less sinful in any case.
It strikes me that whatever the young kids today are practicing, they do have some wonderful precedents in our gods and our ancestors if all that mythology being shown on TV was to be believed. I might be blasphemous, but if that stops those weird ham actors and those fat kinky babes in sagging brasseries and their equally mad directors from demonizing my gods, I would happily hold forth a blasphemous rant .........
I got some amazing stories from the sub-registrars of the family courts and the marriage offices about the reasons for marriage. Some have to do with usually a grim brother and father pair and a submissive husband and a rather large bride. Other stories deal with kids who think they are in a Bollywood presentation and are more in love with themselves than each other. More often than not, some classic gems do come up for top reasons of being bound in the locks, pun not intended, of holy matrimony
A civil marriage is usually a mere signing formality, performed by the registrar but there was once enterprising fellow who had carefully made a ceremony up. This was because there is no official civil marriage service in India, other than something approximating to "Oh, all right then, if you really must!!!"
Last I had heard of him, the fellow was doing brisk business for eloping couples. He even gave them references for divorce lawyers if unhappy with the product he was offering.
And then there are the night guards around my office who are better still at the query. They quote the case of a senior friend of theirs who owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that the Mrs. worked all day and her husband worked all night. They communicated by means of notes. He got her dinner ready before he left at night; she left his breakfast nice and hot on the stove in the mornings.
They have three grown-up children, all born, I can only assume, as a result of extremely persuasive handwriting.
In any case, most guys I know, would usually accept the fact after a few drinks, that they married so that they could at least look at a pretty face in the morning instead of their ugly mugs in the shaving mirror, which might not be very sentimental, romantic or nice, but is definitely true of guys, in most cases. Which is why, most husbands say this only after a few drinks and never in hearing of their wives.
Men generally don’t have much in the way of extra sensory perception of sixth senses, but upon marriage they suddenly get a whole lot of extra senses bolted into their brain, and the first reaction of the new extra senses is to tell a man that he's suddenly neck deep in real trouble. Most men rue this fact and wish that the senses got bolted on before the marriage.
There is of course the other reason, which is experienced by those people who are frequent fliers. Amongst them, it is felt that beauty was even more likely to be in the eye of the beholder if the feet of the beholder were not on something solid. At ten thousand feet up, the eye of the beholder tends to water and anyone on the ground looks good. Most of my frequent flier pals are married, it can be understood.
Being in love and worse, being married is a slight but subtle difference from being alive. It's like the difference between seeing a beautiful new star in the winter sky and actually being close to the supernova. It's the difference between the beauty of morning dew on a cobweb and actually being a fly. It’s a whole new world and we suddenly need a map and a compass.
In any case, I lost track of what I was asking and time. Talking of time, I need to fly, my parents want me to meet a girl, you see.
Do you pity her or me?
I have asked this question more times that I know or can remember. Its usually a nice way of getting two partners fighting, which of course enlivens the general atmosphere and its also a nicer way of getting boring people in sad parties to smile awkwardly and cough or giggle and move on.
Some decide to answer the question and the best reasons I have got could be listed as follows;
“I was in love” –the most famous though funnily it is not the most repeated;
“My parents thought it was time I was settled” is quite popular,
“I was bored”, this also has its followers.
However, hats off to the best of them all – “I don’t know”, the most repeated and most quoted.
Hello folks, it is 2006 and the most popular and most often repeated answer to a question, which poses one of our life’s turning points, is that most of us do not know what or why we took such a step. One of the greatest queries of our lives, the turning rudder that will in fact decide the rest of our meaningful or meaningless lives, is answered in blankness and lack of knowledge.
Is it me or is it wrong that I should be outraged at such, today?
Spare me the sentimental drivel and the petty rationalizations of the human mind; I have heard them all and they are all drivel. We are humans, the difference between apes and us is not the fact of a spinal column being erect, but of the gray matter on top of that same spinal column which defines us.
So why do we not utilize the stuff referred to as the brain and think as to the reasons for which we should marry or did marry?
Parents and family can be quite a deterrent in this aspect of introspection. I suspect that this is mainly because they were not allowed to delve into the same query themselves before commitment and now they are out for revenge!!!
Being in love is basically a trick question of make-up and entrapment and girls know this fact,a bit too well despite people taking pains to tell them that beauty was only skin-deep. As if a man ever fell for an attractive pair of kidneys or a classic large intestine!!!
And, then the boys should also know that girls are pretty, they have style, beauty, grace and that’s what matters. If cats looked like frogs we would all realize what nasty, cruel little creatures they are.
But then, when was the last time the dogs stopped chasing cats?
Some things are just not meant to be....
In any case, it’s the 21st century, the second millennia since Jesus was six years old and most of the young people of today think that marriage is a very serious step that ought to be done properly, so they practice for it quite a lot.
That however does not answer my query; why do people get married? Or even want to do so? It cannot be that in today’s world, two people can be so idiotic as to get married only for the fun of being prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
If we are to look at Hinduism and its teachings, we find that Hinduism encouraged early marriage as a preventive against Sin, although any activity involving any part of the human anatomy between neck and knees was more or less sinful in any case.
It strikes me that whatever the young kids today are practicing, they do have some wonderful precedents in our gods and our ancestors if all that mythology being shown on TV was to be believed. I might be blasphemous, but if that stops those weird ham actors and those fat kinky babes in sagging brasseries and their equally mad directors from demonizing my gods, I would happily hold forth a blasphemous rant .........
I got some amazing stories from the sub-registrars of the family courts and the marriage offices about the reasons for marriage. Some have to do with usually a grim brother and father pair and a submissive husband and a rather large bride. Other stories deal with kids who think they are in a Bollywood presentation and are more in love with themselves than each other. More often than not, some classic gems do come up for top reasons of being bound in the locks, pun not intended, of holy matrimony
A civil marriage is usually a mere signing formality, performed by the registrar but there was once enterprising fellow who had carefully made a ceremony up. This was because there is no official civil marriage service in India, other than something approximating to "Oh, all right then, if you really must!!!"
Last I had heard of him, the fellow was doing brisk business for eloping couples. He even gave them references for divorce lawyers if unhappy with the product he was offering.
And then there are the night guards around my office who are better still at the query. They quote the case of a senior friend of theirs who owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that the Mrs. worked all day and her husband worked all night. They communicated by means of notes. He got her dinner ready before he left at night; she left his breakfast nice and hot on the stove in the mornings.
They have three grown-up children, all born, I can only assume, as a result of extremely persuasive handwriting.
In any case, most guys I know, would usually accept the fact after a few drinks, that they married so that they could at least look at a pretty face in the morning instead of their ugly mugs in the shaving mirror, which might not be very sentimental, romantic or nice, but is definitely true of guys, in most cases. Which is why, most husbands say this only after a few drinks and never in hearing of their wives.
Men generally don’t have much in the way of extra sensory perception of sixth senses, but upon marriage they suddenly get a whole lot of extra senses bolted into their brain, and the first reaction of the new extra senses is to tell a man that he's suddenly neck deep in real trouble. Most men rue this fact and wish that the senses got bolted on before the marriage.
There is of course the other reason, which is experienced by those people who are frequent fliers. Amongst them, it is felt that beauty was even more likely to be in the eye of the beholder if the feet of the beholder were not on something solid. At ten thousand feet up, the eye of the beholder tends to water and anyone on the ground looks good. Most of my frequent flier pals are married, it can be understood.
Being in love and worse, being married is a slight but subtle difference from being alive. It's like the difference between seeing a beautiful new star in the winter sky and actually being close to the supernova. It's the difference between the beauty of morning dew on a cobweb and actually being a fly. It’s a whole new world and we suddenly need a map and a compass.
In any case, I lost track of what I was asking and time. Talking of time, I need to fly, my parents want me to meet a girl, you see.
Do you pity her or me?
1 comment:
Hey D, you might have heard the German debate on a 7-year-shelf period to be put statutorily on marriages!! LOL!!
A fellow blogger Joy (of Me, my mind and my wilderness) blogged about it. In anycase, all expiry periods are always in our heads right?? So now I'm thinking, why do the Germans get married??
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